Friday 15 May 2015

The Honest Truth




So here I am. Seven years after I posted my first blog post, posts have been deleted numerous times, my blog has been rebooted three times and I have posted that first post, several times, stating that 'This is it'. 

It was never it. I would feel inspired and I would want to take my writing career into my own hand by creating my own little web space, where I could post freely, but this would last about a week before something would stop me. Each time, it was always the same two reasons, embarrassment over what other people would think and comparing myself to the super bloggers and YouTubers of the world. 

I am my own worst enemy and I always have been. I always believe that my writing isn't good enough to present to the world and that because of that, people would judge me, be it work colleagues, family or friends. It's gotten to a stage where I couldn't care less what people think of me. If people want to judge me for doing something that I have been interested in for many years, so be it. I'm going to put myself and my writing out there, and in the words of Taylor Swift, 'Haters gonna hate.'

The second reason is comparing myself to other bloggers. Bloggers who have been doing this for years and have found their path. I don't have a professional camera, I don't have my own domain, I feel awkward posting for outfit photos and I will probably ramble my way through a YouTube video but I have to start somewhere. I'm constantly concerned with how I may look in photos, whether my photos look professional enough, I can't pose like they can, and I don't live in London so it my content going to be interesting enough? It's a confidence issue that I have started to address and it now means that I am running out of excuses.

I'm not going to say 'this is it' as I don't want to write this post again in a years time saying that I didn't keep another promise. I'm going to say watch this space.